You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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