I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
