So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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