i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
