I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
