I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
