standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
