i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
