took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
