my sisters under your porch take her home
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
