can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
