did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
