I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
