he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
