i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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