So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize