And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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