My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
