How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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