Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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