Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
