I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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