Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize