And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
