he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
