i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
