it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
