My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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