You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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