I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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