i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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