the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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