he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
