idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
North Korea, Best Korea!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
