I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
