Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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