There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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