I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Barsexuality is the new black.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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