At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
