You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
