if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
