I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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