I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I looked at my own cervix.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize