Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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