I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He kissed a someone with a penis
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
