Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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