last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
