Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
