so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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