ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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