I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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