Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
