So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I want a musical about memes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
