He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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