I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
