i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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