Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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