Cold hands, warm shart.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
