If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
