My room smells like vodka and shame
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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