dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
