Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
