She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
