It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have post one night stand depression
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
