I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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