I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
